The Pickup Artist is a great show intended to exploit the seduction community to the general public and help Mystery make more money by tremendously increasing his publicity. He will never have to lead boot camps ever again after this show. He is hoping he might get some movie offers for other dating and pickup artist shows and maybe possibly a movie of Neil Strauss’s book ‘The Game’ Where the two greatest pickup artist in the world go on an adventure.

Although I’m very upset that master pickup artist Mystery gave the students some of my favorite canned bar openers, and now i will have to find new ones, or say i heard them on VH1 (which might start a whole conversation about pickup artist & seduction) The show was fun to watch. It’s just like all those other reality TV shows wear someone gets kicked out of the house or off the island…. I can definitely see VH1 recording and showing the drama of these guys on their way to success. Vh1 turned ‘The Pickup Artist‘ into a game, where there is a prize at the end for whoever earns the title master pickup artist (how original). The winner will get $50K and the opportunity to travel with Mystery and his wingmen, J-Dog & Matador. J-Dog actually lives in AZ and runs the popular message board www.arizonapua.com.

I think that people will watch this show for the entertainment purposes more then the learning TV tutorial Mystery intended it to be. Which might be OK as long as they now know who the pickup artist Mystery is. They will google his name and find out all about the seduction and pickup community that exist today.

A very funny review of episode 2 of The Pickup Artist from thundercatseductionlair.com

Then, Mystery finally graces the boys with his presence.  He’s not
really peacocked out, but he’s still wearing his goggles, you know,
just in case he gets the sudden urge to stare at the sun. (Does he ever
actually use those things?)

Scott the Stutterer talks about how inspired he is after seeing “The
Masters” at work.  You know, he may be a huge nerd with pants up to his
armpits, but I like Scott.  He’s awkward and stiff, but at least he’s
got the spirit to try!  He even goes so far as to say he wants to be
them.  Most people might think that means he wants to go out and get
laid, but I interpreted it as he wants to have his own neat pair of
goggles to wear around town.

And soon, Scott may get his wish, because now Mystery is going to
layout the show’s first REWARD CHALLENGE!  All based around the Peacock
Theory.

Mystery explains that Peacock Theory is about conveying sexuality
and drawing people towards you with your own look.  (Hence the awesome
goggles!)  From the way the show is edited, most of the students seem
to think that peacocking is about wearing super-tight pants.  (The gay
guy had a huge smile on his face when he found this out!)  But Mystery
wants his students to stand out.  So he sends them to a clothing store
to build an “Avatar” (Persona, or image) which conveys sexuality.  He
wants them to go crazy, and when they’re done, he gets to judge them.

And the winner gets… A WOMAN!

All the guys light up, until Mystery says that they just get to
“practice” with her instead of actually banging her.  (Awwwww)  That’s
too bad, since most of these guy’s problems could probably be solved
with one good night with a hooker.

So the winner gets to talk to a pretty girl.  So far, this is awesome, right?  Right?  *Ahem*

So the guys all head to the clothing store WET, which is apparently
also a salon and spa, all wrapped into one.  They hit the clothing
racks like color-blind autistics on ridalin, while getting their hair
colored, their backs waxed, and copious amounts of holes punched in
their ears.

Good ol’ Pradeep proclaims he wants to go for the “obviously gay”
look, so of course he starts shopping in the woman’s section, along
with the Blonde dude, who really is gay.

And then come… you guessed it… THE TIGHT PANTS!

First Alvero comes waddling out, his voice three octaves higher than
usual, claiming his pants are too tight.  Scott the Stutterer claims
he’s wearing tight jeans, but they still look big on him considering
his legs are the size of toothpicks.

45 Year Old Virgin says it best as he shouts “This is Nerds Gone
Wild!”  And he couldn’t be more right.  As the make-overs commence,
most of the guys start to look more and more strange and weird than
they did when they showed up in the first episode.

After getting an overly-long montage of Tubby Dude getting his back
hair riped out (He says “If I don’t get any girls, I’m going to be so
pissed!”  Well, prepare to be pissed, buddy.) we go on to see our boy
Spoon get not one, not two, but THREE piercings in his ear.

Gosh… and I remember the days when peacocking just meant wearing your green lantern ring out to the clubs.  Sigh.

So now that the guys have done their best to try and create their
make-overs without any professional help, they’re ready to put on the
fashion show for Mystery and the boys.

J-Dog says the guys are looking for someone who can “hang” with
Matador, Mystery, and himself.  (Oddly enough, he mentioned nothing
about Goggles.)

First up is Brady, the photographer, who comes out with his newly
blond hair and rather normal outfit.  Mystery likes it.  Matador says
he doesn’t remember him from before - which isn’t a big surprise, since
Matador looks a bit too busy posing for the camera than paying
attention to the guys he’s supposed to be helping.  Either that, or the
years of alcohol abuse are starting to catch up with him.  Matador then
goes on to tell Brady how good looking he is.  It’s too bad he didn’t
say that to the gay dude, because we might have actually seen someone
get laid on this show if that was the case.  Brady then goes on to say
he’s never had so many guys tell him he was good looking before.  If
this show was a gay version of the Bachelor, he’d be so in first place
right now!

Next up is Scott the Stutterer.  As He walks in, J-Dog gasps in
shock as he realizes that Scott’s blue streak in his hair is actually
more annoying than his own black streaks.  “Crikey!” he exclaims.
(Okay, not really, but I wish he had.)

Now, Big Gay Joe enters.  Matador is so attracted to the guy, all he
can do is pose for the camera some more.  Mystery says his look is
“interesting” and J-Dog asks him about his new gay piercings.  Gay Joe
corrects him and says he got his ears “Gaged,” which means he got
massive holes punched in his ears so he could put stuff inside them.
Just what a gay guy needs - more holes in his body.

Then comes poor, poor, 45 Year Old Virgin (Henceforth known as
45YOV).  He comes in looking like a New Kid From The Block - only old
and sex starved.  Mystery calls the look “Sesame Street.”  Matador
wants more hot guys to come out.  J-Dog is just glad 45YOV isn’t
upstaging his hair like that damn Scott guy.  Mystery then tells 45YOV
that there’s no need for a man his age to dress that way.  Um.. why
didn’t he tell him that BEFORE he sent him out to the clothing store?
The guy is surrounded by dudes 20 years younger than him, what did he
expect?

Next enters Alvaro, coming out with his bandanna and one black
glove.  Apparently, he thinks channeling circa 1980’s Michael Jackson
is gonna get him chicks.  He busts a few moves in his new gay duds
before Mystery and the crew start telling him how dumb he looks.  If
only he had bothered to get some Goggles, maybe he could roll with
Mystery to the Playboy Mansion, but I digress…

After Alvaro comes Pradeep, who proudly walks in with his new
“obviously gay” clothes.  (You can tell Matador likes it.)  Mystery
unceremoniously laughs at him.  Pradeep asks “Is this too much” with
his voice as high as a 12-year old girls thanks to the super tight
jeans pinching his junk.

Finally, our boy SPOON walks in.  He’s pretty much got the same
outfit on as Pradeep, only with less gay colors.  He proudly pronounces
“This is the new Spoon!” as he shows off his uber-cool vintage tee
shirt with Animal from the Muppet’s on it saying “Want Woman!” (subtle,
right?)  Mystery says “From top to bottom, if you were in a club, you’d
be your own person.”  As opposed to what?  Being Gay Joe?  Some other
person?  I still think he could have used a pair of awesome goggles.

Last, but not least, Tubby Joe waddles in, showing off his new
frat-boy look.  Unfortunately, it’s covering his new silky smooth back,
so Matador hates it.  His hair has blond stripes so J-Dog is jealous.
Mystery says he needs to go more Mafia and look like a “strip club
owner.”  The fact that Tubby Joe already has a droopy eye and fake
tooth would suggest he’s already 90% there.  Over-all, I don’t think he
looks too bad, but big guys don’t look good with too many layers of
clothes on.  Matador can’t resist calling the poor guy fat to his face
and kicking his self-esteem down lower than it is.  (Way to go, El
Matador!)

After all is said and done, Mystery and his wings concur that the
guys took the exercise too far and looked clownish, so they choose the
least embarrassing guy to win.  So the winner is - SPOON!

Spoon is so excited at winning, he puts on his blank-stare face.  I
can’t tell if he’s happy he won, or scared shitless that he’ll have to
interact with a real, live woman.  Probably a little of both.

Now it’s time for Mystery to teach the guys some actual, practical theory - namely opening.

This is a subject every aspiring ladies man should be aware of.
Click Here to check out everything you need to know about Opening.

Mystery tells the guys that whoever can open a set tonight wins
immunity to elimination.  Now it’s time to practice.  Mystery tells the
guys the key to approaching is to “Not Creep Them Out.”  Unfortunately,
it would seem most of the guys don’t get this simple concept, as
evidenced later in the show.

So while the guys start opening each other, our boy Spoon is sent
off to meet the girl he won.  Poor Spoon’s shyness starts becoming
endearing and I find myself rooting for the guy.  I’m hoping he makes
it all the way to Master PUA.

When Tara shows up, poor Spoon looks like he’s going to shit
himself.  Tara is, for lack of a better word - hot.  She does her best
to make Spoon feel comfortable.  But all he can seem to do is smile at
her dumbly and say “Me Chinese!”  (Okay, he didn’t say that, but he
SHOULD have!)

Tara is a girl who knows the game and seems determined to help Spoon
out. So after defending Mystery as the guy who DOESN’T teach guys how
to get laid (owch!), she starts in teaching Spoon how to open chicks.
Tara says Spoon is a “Total Sweetheart” (translation:  “I would never
sleep with him.”).

So the guys start their openers - of course ruining all the best
openers most of the guys in the community use by exposing them on
national TV.  Bye-bye jealous girlfriend and dental floss!  It was nice
knowing you!

Pradeep tries to help the seduction community out by coming up with
his own opener about shitting your pants.  Nice hustle buddy!
Unfortunately, J-Dog prevented great TV from happening when he told
Pradeep NOT to use that opener in club.  Damn him and his striped
hair!!!

Then we get treated to Steve the Stutterer getting hung up on the
word BOOBIE.  That almost makes up for not getting to see Pradeep use
his pants-shitting opener in a real club.  Almost - but not quite.

Back to poor Spoon as Tara plays with his poor, fragile ego.
However, Spoon actually gets to be a cool guy when he starts relaxing
around her.  I’m rooting for Spoon by now.  This guy is awesome.

So after the guys sit down to learn their openers, it’s time to hit the club.

Spoon tells the camera that Tara basically gave him the same advice
you can get from watching the movie Swinggers, something about being an
animal and killing women.  I don’t remember…

Alvaro wants to prove himself to Mystery since he didn’t approach
before.  He now says that the old pussy Alvaro died, and he is now
Cosmo… only with a K, so he can be cooler than all the other Cosmos
out there.

One by one, all the boys enter a new club to practice their
openers.  The object is to open a set.  The guy who opens the most sets
the best wins.

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